1st day of "Fasting"

Due to my overwhelming need to rebuild my self (I shall use examples and phrases related with City-States in order to paint a more vivid picture in order to clarify what I am doing), I have decided to break off as much contact as I can to Tia for the time being until I can exterminate every romantic feeling that threatens to overthrow my sanity and realistic views, and be able to rebuild my walls to thwart any outside attempt from these feeling to seize me again.

Today was an alright day. I did some work outside and on my car, went over to Kevin S.'s house and played some CoD4 and GoW2 with him and David (I felt a great satisfaction with blowing them and numerous Locust to pieces before my feet, It just felt good to control something in my life again), came home and ate a tasty supper. I also did a stupid thing (I seemed to do those alot today) and deleted my music library on my Ipod. Now this wouldn't be so bad if some of my favorite music wasn't on my computer......*sigh*....but I was able to re-vamp my library, update it, and create a compression software (thank you cheap apple programing) that saved me 345 Mb of space on my drive for it wOOt!

My first day of Fasting (I shall call it that because that is exactly what I am doing to her) went well for the first day. Without me talking to her I was able to punch through and exterminate some memories that had been reinforcing the idea of "Love" for her, therefor gaining me one step closer to total rule over my emotions (something I haven't had since Raechel opened up to me that one fateful day....). I can only hope that I will be able to consolidate my hold further over the next few days (oh how I hope that it will take only that long), and maybe just maybe to the point were I can facilitate communications once again without that fear I won't be able to hold my own against the powerful emotions that I feel for her now.

Here I Am
There's movement in the distance,
These baits are what I hear, Corruption, greed and feud are all I see.
I'm all in a disarray ,
Things used to be a different way, Whatever happened to the golden age?
It's gone yeah it's gone away
So don't ever turn your back again! (one false move and we're all dead!)

Here I am
I'm back at the crossroads again
Oh, let me stand let me stand let me stand
On top of the mountain again

There's movement in the distance
These baits are what I hear, This petty resistance is all I see
I want to walk away
Remember better days, We watch the death of something beautiful....
It's gone yeah it's gone away
So don't ever turn your back again! (one false move and we're all dead!)

Here I am
Here I am
I'm back at the crossroads again
Oh, let me stand let me stand let me stand
On top of the mountain again

When we find a problem
We should never look back and say
"One chance, one moment"
It's gone so easily!

Here I am
Here I am
Here I am
I'm back at the crossroads again
Oh, let me stand let me stand let me stand
On top of the mountain again