On Life and David Hadron

Well today was alright...I think...wait what am I saying!!?!?!

I had some donuts for breakfast this morning so that's a plus, um watched Forrest Gump in history (love that movie), uhhh signed some year books and......oh, I got commended on all of my TAKS, got a 4 on my amazing essay for the English TAKS but got two 3's and a 0 for my short answers (how does that work out? lol) Well I headed home early today because I had to gas up and such. I didn't do much at home, I worked on my English project and Math worksheets, went to the Jacobson's to work on their yard (so many leafs!)

On to my main rant for today!

During the process of writing my book (now books), most of the plot lines and character weren't there in the first place or were totally different than what they are now. So many things have changed in it that I can actually look back and when I compare both the "old" character and the "new" character, I can actually see myself maturing with them.

David Hadron: I had some trouble making this character and I've gone through about 4 different character types before I can to my final draft of him. He is the Protagonist of the story, the Hero.
Archetypes: Reluctant Hero, Outcast (because he is a carrier of SHADOW), and Übermensch
Enneagrams: Self-Profectionist, Guardian/Defender, and Individualist
RPG Archetyps: Soldier
Fantasy Archetypes: Blacksmith (He builds and upkeeps his own Wanzer), Slayer, Warlock (SHADOW again)
Pure Archetypes: Autist, Critic (self), Deviant, Loner/Renunciate, Masquerader, and Revolutionary
Physical Description: Above average height, fairly built and featured, left side from waist up is pure SHADOW (I'll explain what it is later). Usually wears dress uniform in the military but also wears leather fitings when not (such as when he is out in citizen life). He has dirty blond hair and light blue eyes.
Psychological Description: Tends to dissociate himslef from others to hide what he views as his flaw (SHADOW and later the AW connection), Longs for a stable life. Exhibits unwavering loyalty to his friends (however few he may have), Embraces his individualism (no matter how much he may dispise it) because it gives him his power and through it his life.
*NOT FINSIHED WILL UPDATE*

Though on the 27th of May

Well today was a different day, not just from the events that happened but also from the mindsets of me and other people.

Tuned To A Different Station
Say hello man you know she's great
I do all that I can though I somnambulate
I'm alright
I've been governed by a lover that I never could alter
Convinced I'd discover a new world order of light
It goes dark
I suffer from a lack of concentration (I just can't seem to concentrate)
Still got faith in my generation (I hope you're coming and won't be late)
My brain's just tuned to a different station (my brain's all tuned to a different state)
And I miss you
Say hello man you know she's great
I do all that I can though I somnambulate
I'm alright
I got something over here
Something over there
Oh it's lucky we can breathe 'cause there's something in the air tonight
It goes dark
I suffer from a lack of concentration (I just can't seem to concentrate)
Still got faith in my generation (I hope you're coming and won't be late)
My brain's just tuned to a different station (my brain's all tuned to a different state)
And I miss you...
Oh I miss you...
How I miss you...

Well my classes in school are getting either easier or harder (such is the way of the end of school) and I am sad that it is ending, for the first time in my life I actually feel sadness along with the happiness that accompanies the end of the school year....well I guess that's what happens when you become more involved in social things and lose the catalyst that quickens these events.
Well looks like Big Papa's (a tasty pizzeria!) is on for the end of the school year! Every year my friends and I head there to hang out before the summer begins. We used to head over to Trader Planet after that (a place that was a nerds paradise basically lol) but it closed up last summer....*sniff*....I'm sad now......

After a long and careful deliberations (with myself)I have decided the split my book into a trilogy because there are so many new plot lines that I have added and I didn't want a bibles worth of pages lol. (why is it always a trilogy?)
I have so much more to write, characters to make/remake, characters to kill (sorry Martha), SHADOW theory to explore, and a whole lot more! Hopefully coming to a book shelf near you soon!....or ever!

Well I'll expand on that later, right now I've got to get off and start to get ready for tomorrow.

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Long and Eventful 1000 miles

Well Saturday I got up early (very early) got packed and such and headed up North! Lol, I went with my family up to visit my dads side of the family up in Decalb, TX (near the Arkansas border, so it's about a 6-8 hour ride)
Well we hit the road and I actually take a nice nap, read some books, replay some FFI (I'm trying to actually finish all of it this time lol then move on to FFII), watch some BSG (The Pegasus is gone NOOO!!!!!! That ship was B.A. in the extreme!), watch the opener of Caprica (Looks good if I do say so myself, look it up online if you want to find out more, yes the beginning is freaky/confusing), and listen to some amazing music (I'll get to that on another post) on my Ipod.
After 6.5 hours, 3 tacos, and 32 oz of Mountain Dew later we arrive at a church that is hold my Great Aunts 50th Anniversary dinner (50 years.....hard to imagine me being that lucky....). The dinner was nice and everyone within the immediate family went over to my Aunts house where we play domino's and Wii (which no one could best me at!). The night was pretty fun until an unexpected problem pops up (I shall not discuss it without the other persons opinion, and I doubt that this person will want it revealed anytime soon) man I was worried....stupid "I want to try everything spirit, I can't wait for that to die down some.
Well the next day was more family stuff but I did get to do something that I wasn't expecting.....I got to see Terminator: Salvation! It was action packed! I'll admit that it wasn't StarTrek good but it was still worth seeing in my opinion. I also got to hang out with my Uncle Jack and if you think I'm sarcastic and (slightly) funny, wait until you meet him! He actually reminds me of my dad, except he talk more....alot more.
The last day was alright, I had bacon for breakfast so that's a plus! (and with Gravy......uuhhh...delicious!) and my mom said that we were going to get a Wii....that's great, I would love to get a new system....but a Wii? I would prefer a 360 because it has game more suited for my father and I, such as Mass Effect, Halo 3, the CoD's, and many others (as compared to SSBB and a select few for the Wii) but that's a conversation for another time.
Well after about 8 hours we get back to Schertz.....and back to school.....*sigh* it's almost over...that is a good thing as well as a bad as I only have one more year to do everything I want to in high school and hang with friends that I won't see after we graduate....Oh well I'll try to live what I can for now.

Well my sister needs to get on for more "Homework"......sure you do Kristen....

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2nd Mega-Post

Well it's been a few day (thanks to my sister discovering the wonders of the Internet) and I am righting this from my aunts house in Decalb, TX.

Wednesday, the 20th of May
(Just to clear up some stuff, I can't discuss the questions on the multiple choice or the essays so this will seem vague)
This day came hard in all of its fury and stress. This day was the day of both my AP U.S. History Test as well as my AP English Language and Composition Test.....oh what joy. The APUSH was the easiest for me since I am "The Man" when it comes to history (yes that is a gloat but also a fact). I answered almost all of the multiple questions (and I assume that I answered most, if not all correctly, I only skipped 3) and answered all 3 of the essays in 6 collective papers. So for my history I believe I got a 3 or higher, like the AP World History test.
But the APELC ......not as sure. I didn't do as many of the multiple choices but I did only answer the ones I was sure on, so that's a plus. The essays on the other hand......I answered all 3 but just over a page for each one. But I'll be lucky if I even get a 3 for my score (the lowest score that is accepted as college credit), Oh well if I don't make it I always have next year.
After the test I was worn out. I could barely put my thoughts together, my hand was cramped so bad that I couldn't move my hand for the next ten minutes. Despite it all though, I welcomed the mind set I had to force myself into: I shut everything out, my dreams, my major plan that I have codenamed "Valley Forge" (ever the history nerd am I), my life, and Tia (these last two were very much needed to shut out, and I swear I worry to much about her, but she's like a little sister to me and someone's got to be her conscience lol) and it was much needed, even I must admit that I need a break.
I don't remember much after that, my mind was to fracked up. I did however start helping out my neighbors (who moved away before the seventh grade) by taking care of their yard, all 2.4 square acres of land and all of the leaves that come with it....so so many leafs they appear as an ocean to me.
Working around there brings back memories of my first friend (not to mention Best friend) that I made down here.....her name was Kirsten Jacobson, she was in my 4th grade class (the same class that my current best friend was in actually, coincidence!) and was one of the best people that I've ever known. We always competed for the prizes that were given away if we got a 100 on the math sheet given to the class right before we got out of school.
We always worked on them together on the bus (we rode the same one) and I actually remember her and I purposely messing up some answer just because we didn't want the other to get the prize lol.....I miss her...

Thursday, the 21st of May
This day was pretty normal until that night. School was normal and alright......somewhat....but I'll get into the other stuff later. After school I went straight home, took a shower, rushed to pick up Kevin and then Mark (boy was Kevin surprised when Mark walked out in his kilt), then we headed to the Theater banquet. So we get on base and find the place hosting it, and the first thing we see is Kat throwing out water and saying that we have live fish on the table.....weird.....well after a lot of pictures by Sabrina and others, we meet everyone else and take our seats.
Now Mark and I decided earlier in the day that we were going to pull a prank on Tia by telling her that Mark had something else to go to (which in truth he did, but he decided to go to this instead) and he had told Tia he might not be there and then I told her that he won't be there to solidify the idea (He also told me that he couldn't go, see Tia, I didn't lie) well we wait for her to come and when she does (Of course she shows up late lol) I see her in the dress that she had been bragging about the days before and I forgot about the prank that I was working so hard to fulfill, She looked amazing, I actually had to remind myself that Calvin was the one the one she wanted and that I was suppose to be over her.......that's a laugh...anyways, I helped to distract her while Mark was suppose to sneak up behind her and surprise her, which he did so well that she turned around and said "Mark!?", her face was surprised and happy then it switched as suddenly as it appeared into anger, she punched him in the stomach and yelled "Don't do that again!" lol it was great.
Well the dinner was delicious and we got to the awards. I got best flop! (YES!), best on stage couple (with Tia (I realized God uses dark humor too)), and I got Best Actor....which I'm not sure that I deserve that title, no matter how many awards I get for it.....
Well the senior wills where great as well, same with Marks story (nice one man). Then it was time to head home (lol Tia eventually found her car) and I dropped off Mark and then headed to drop of Kevin, why is it that I always have a talk about emotions (usually his) whenever he is in the car? And I didn't get home until around Ten o'clock, went to bed and wept until I went to sleep.

Friday, the 22nd of May
This day was actually quite lax and very uneventful until the evening. We played the show music for next year, which I'm glad that it sounds cool (unlike the last few years.....), in history we watched "Remember the Titans", the next periods had nothing important/different in them.
This day would happen to be the day of the Band Banquet which I didn't want to go to in the first place, though now I'm glad I did, but my sister wanted to go and I am her "bus boy". So it ends up that my sister isn't ready and I have to go without her (my mother was just going to go for the dinner, so she would drop her off and I would bring her home). So I get there and sit with Andrew/his family, Joe, Courtney, Daniel and others, eat a tasty meal, and start to head over to go to the awards ceremony (my mother comes up to me and tells me she's leaving and that she wants us home by 10 because we are traveling tomorrow) so I head to the ceremony (I actually got an award for something, and I was in the PowerPoint quite a few times) and it doesn't end until 10:15. I give my phone to my sister to call mom to ask if she could stay for the dance that was held afterward, so she calls and then heads to the dance, which I assumed meant that she had convinced mom to let her to stay......yeah about that.....
Well, after the ceremony I take a few pictures with Andrew for his parents and then, after a short discussion, the gang (everyone mentioned about in name) head to the dance. Now as many people know: I don't dance. Everybody else in the group (excluding Andrew) does. I almost forgot to mention something else that made me.....emotional (many emotions actually) that night........and I'm going to assume that everyone reading this has the information in order to guess what caused this influx.....well I got to hang out with my friends and watch some people (not you Joe) make a fool out of themselves.
Well I decide that my sister and I should head back so we aren't useless whenever we wake up early to head out. So I head over to my sister and tell her that we're heading out at 11:30 (so we're at least home by midnight) so it gets to 11:30, I tell my sister again that we are about to leave, say goodbye to my friends (I was to.....scared? to talk to Tia, she was having such a good time that I didn't want to sour it any), and I head out to my car with my sister behind me, or so I thought.
I get out to the car and start it up when I realize that my sister isn't behind me......yeah....so skip the next 20 minutes and then when the party done she decides to head out.....I swear one of these days I'm going to just drive off and let her find her own way home.... well one the way home she starts to get very arrogant and full of herself (sounds familiar....hhmmmm...) and when we get home, she turns on the computer, 12 o'clock at night and she turns on the computer! Well we get into an argument about the ethics of what she was doing and we wake the beast (our mother) who proceeds to ask why we are up late and finds out that we just got home.....and says that we weren't suppose to go to the dance....contrary to what my sister told me....She lied to both me and my mother....well my mother didn't take to kindly to that and says she can't got to prom with Katy and Jovanna. Oh what a nice way to end my day....

Well that's my collective 3 days, very eventful if I do say myself. I'll post my other days since then in other post.

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Done at 7:24 P.M. Tuesday, the 26th of May

The First of Many Wars.....

Broken by the power of a clenched fist,
Desires and blood now flow in the palm of my hand...

Well my last day of fasting was today. And I feel much better though, I can't help but feel that I destroyed a part of myself (as sung in the lines above) but then again maybe what I need to do is just take steps back to were I was before last summer. Though, I don't know if I can go back now that I've had a taste of what could be (Oh, I now respect your position Mark, and at least understand your fear of taking one step).
I've got to hand it to both Joe and Tia, music is much more of a powerful emotional carrier than I thought. I listen to my entire library (not much by some standards just about 7.4 Gb) but listening to Queen, Toshihiko Sahashi, Koji Kondo, Chicago, Tommy Tallarico, John Williams, and so many others kept my blood moving.

Well today was alright, not much to talk about though we do have the APUSH and APEWC test tomorrow. That's about let's see....oh....7 hours of testing which includes a total of 120 questions and 6 essays! UGH!

Well I'm going to cut this one short, I'm to emotionally worn out.

1st day of "Fasting"

Due to my overwhelming need to rebuild my self (I shall use examples and phrases related with City-States in order to paint a more vivid picture in order to clarify what I am doing), I have decided to break off as much contact as I can to Tia for the time being until I can exterminate every romantic feeling that threatens to overthrow my sanity and realistic views, and be able to rebuild my walls to thwart any outside attempt from these feeling to seize me again.

Today was an alright day. I did some work outside and on my car, went over to Kevin S.'s house and played some CoD4 and GoW2 with him and David (I felt a great satisfaction with blowing them and numerous Locust to pieces before my feet, It just felt good to control something in my life again), came home and ate a tasty supper. I also did a stupid thing (I seemed to do those alot today) and deleted my music library on my Ipod. Now this wouldn't be so bad if some of my favorite music wasn't on my computer......*sigh*....but I was able to re-vamp my library, update it, and create a compression software (thank you cheap apple programing) that saved me 345 Mb of space on my drive for it wOOt!

My first day of Fasting (I shall call it that because that is exactly what I am doing to her) went well for the first day. Without me talking to her I was able to punch through and exterminate some memories that had been reinforcing the idea of "Love" for her, therefor gaining me one step closer to total rule over my emotions (something I haven't had since Raechel opened up to me that one fateful day....). I can only hope that I will be able to consolidate my hold further over the next few days (oh how I hope that it will take only that long), and maybe just maybe to the point were I can facilitate communications once again without that fear I won't be able to hold my own against the powerful emotions that I feel for her now.

Here I Am
There's movement in the distance,
These baits are what I hear, Corruption, greed and feud are all I see.
I'm all in a disarray ,
Things used to be a different way, Whatever happened to the golden age?
It's gone yeah it's gone away
So don't ever turn your back again! (one false move and we're all dead!)

Here I am
I'm back at the crossroads again
Oh, let me stand let me stand let me stand
On top of the mountain again

There's movement in the distance
These baits are what I hear, This petty resistance is all I see
I want to walk away
Remember better days, We watch the death of something beautiful....
It's gone yeah it's gone away
So don't ever turn your back again! (one false move and we're all dead!)

Here I am
Here I am
I'm back at the crossroads again
Oh, let me stand let me stand let me stand
On top of the mountain again

When we find a problem
We should never look back and say
"One chance, one moment"
It's gone so easily!

Here I am
Here I am
Here I am
I'm back at the crossroads again
Oh, let me stand let me stand let me stand
On top of the mountain again

1st Mega-Post

Well today is my "Independence Day". It's the day I have been despising and wanting. It's the day that I am freed but at a price that I never wanted to pay. But it has not brought the relief that I had prayed it would. I feel like a country that won the war, but is so ruined physically, mentally, and psychologically, that I might as well lost it. I'm basically a war-ravaged and ruined country that's to exhausted to rebuild itself to its former glory.

On a brighter note, I've figured out what fuels the fires of my muse: Despair. This may sound emo but it's not meant to be. I've almost finish my ESSSSOC II post, written 6 more pages for my books (yes I said books, I'll explain later into the post) and wrote some other things for the cause of this "despair". And this has helped clarify my sadness, or at least, it's helped to sooth me.

Just tonight
I was scared but once I thought about, I let it go
Everything she said to me I guess I ought to know
We're all tired talk when it comes to shove
Put up, put out or stay at home.
We'll never be the same, never feel this way again
I'd give you anything but you want pain.
A little water please, I taste you all over my teeth
Never again. Just tonight? Ok
All at once the music stopped, the feeling went away
An ugly picture, me and you, but nothing I can change
You know what happens with the lights back on
The less you know the more you want, you want, you want
We'll never be the same, never feel this way again
I'd give you anything but you want pain.
A little water please, I taste you all over my teeth
Never again. Just tonight? Ok

I just feel so tired of it all......I've tried to escape it so that I can face the prospects of rebuilding but I can't seem to get away, it always comes back screaming for me. What's worse is that I can feel another war for my soul building. Hope will always creep back in to fight Despair, and Despair will always creep back in to fight Hope. They both appeal so much at opposite times that I'm starting to lose faith in both, but then what else is there to go for? Love? No, I'm done with love for now. True it did bring some of the greatest moment that I can remember, but it's brought me into, what seems like, an Abysmal situation. Hate? No, I've seen what hate will turn people into. No matter how appealing its call is to me, I will not be that monster again. NEVER AGAIN. What else is there?
I need a cause to devote myself to know that I've killed mine. Maybe I should just put up a sign that says "Cause Wanted", then again, maybe they would be to afraid because I killed the last one......*sigh*. I've contemplated band as my cause, but I'm not sure I want to give my all to band and have it stepped on and thrown around again. Theater would be a good choice, but then again, theater was the catalyst for my pain right now. I could go with the "job" I have now (can't get into specifics. Maybe that summer job that my parents have forced me into will do me some good here......

Well on another bright note, I went to the Belles spring show and I've got to say that I enjoyed it. I went because I got caught in a verbal trap (lol) between my good friend Raechel and Tia (I'll get into that story another time). It was actually a mix of dances from the Belles, Golden Stars, Belles "bodygaurds" (I never knew that vincent could dance in parachut pants, who knew?), hiphop dance crews, and Hali, who is another friend of mine, singing (great I might add).

Well I'm going to be heading off, SNL is on, and I'm starting to get emotional again.

My Final Ramblings of the Night (hopefully)

Well I don't feel like talking much about my day but rather a specific topic.

I am fighting what I hope to be my last battle for, as I've dubbed, my "Independence Day". I'm fighting to get over Tia ("her" if you didn't make the connection), and I'm getting very far actually, I'm just worn out and tired. I've gone through so many memories, so many emotions, and so much.......love and hate, that it's very hard at times to figure out what the frack went wrong. But I have been able to come to some very solid facts.

1. She liked me.
A. I don't know for how long but I do know that she did
B. Somewhere it just stopped for her....and I still don't know for sure
2. I like her (hopefully this will become past tense soon enough)
A. I can actually remember the first time I met her
a. Which I never remember the first time I met someone except on two occasions and I can relate my relationships within the same spectrum as this.
B. I have this overwhelming desire to help her.
a. This is generally a good thing but it does make me a bit of a tyrant when she comes to me for advice.
b. This need to help also hurts me, and this is going to sound selfish, because I stop thinking less and less about me and more and more about her,
3. I hurt more than I can describe at trying to move past her.
A. My friends have noticed my sadness (which I try to not refer my emotions to everyone)
z. (Oh and Mark when you decided to bring this up, right when you were getting out of my car, think a bit, was that really the best time to bring it up?)
B. This is effecting me to such an extent mentally that it's affecting me physically.
a. I am running a temp of 100.3 (I almost never get sick),
C. She's the one that ran away
a. I think that is what hurts me the most

I still don't get what happened.....one week we were fine then the next she tells me I've "Grown apart from her". What the frack is that suppose to mean? I asked and asked and tried to figure out what she meant but to no avail. She didn't give me anything. That's just like saying "I like you but it's not going to work because of something that I can't put my finger on, but trust me it is enough to ruin it." How can I accept that? Could any of you?

I'm done torturing myself, I'm not saying that I don't want to be her friend because I still do. I cherish what we have, we've always been totally honest and open (which has it's down falls of course, but she is the person I trust the most in this world) But in order for me to kill this connection that tortures me, I must kill apart of myself, the part that loves her, the part that's begging to live.

But I have to kill it.........

A constant diet of Hope has a bitter taste...

Well I'm not feeling to good today (mentally not physically) and I don't have my finger down as to why.....though I might already know the answer.....eh....I swear I have more problems than a math book lol

Today was just a normal day that was deluded by my mind set. We took the Math TAKS today (which was easier than I remember) I finished it in less than an hour and was the first one done (I swear I heard someone say "Smart mother @#$%^&" lol). I finished Johnny Tremain and I enjoyed it so much more than the first time I read it, the apple orchard scene had me gut wrenched and his love/hate friendship with Rab (both of these things that I can actually relate to, and for the exact same reasons as the book). I am now reading Brisingr which is another very good book, with plots I can relate to as well (I see a pattern developing here).
Well the rest of my day was quite bland. Lunch was boring. Spanish was it's usual crazy/annoying self. English was mostly filling out AP forms and heading to the CL (comp lab) to work on AP stuff for 10 minutes, eh. Theater was uneventful as always thought I was able to read Black Angle, I'm finishing it tomorrow. Physics was basically just a rap battle between Ms. Kats and Mr. Kinion.

I'm going to leave it at that tonight, I'll talk more tomorrow.

-This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the Napsta

The day the TAKS stood still

Sorry about the title, but I didn't take it today and I thought the 4 hours of siting in my assigned classroom working on the history review with Daniel would NEVER END!!!!!

Well today was a very uneventful day (which I happened to enjoy the laziness). Right when I walked into school Mr. P herded us out of the band hall (go figure) and I walked with Daniel and Joe to our room (we all had the same one) sat down and waited for the epic adventure through a boring time and event that had nothing to do with us! We were able to listen to our MP3's thankfully and I did get a lot of the review done and learned more than I care to about the Constitution lol. Well during our mini lunch, Andrew came and he let me listen to the soundtrack for the 4th season of Dr. Who (AMAZING!). We actually played music that I enjoyed in band! What is wrong with this world? This never happens! Mrs. Burger (as I call her) let us play "Phantom of the Opera", "Main theme of StarWars/Raiders March", and the "MI theme song"!.......I will say that I did enjoy band. On a random note: Stupid Kevin. History was just Mr. Johnson trying to rush the Vietnam war so we know it for TAKS lol. We all voted for Prince and Princess for homecoming court, and me being the fracker I am did not vote, I'm not going anyways so what's the point? Math was great, I got to read.

Well a few days ago I tweaked Firefox (I do that every now and then) and I'm glad that I found a way to manually rip anything streaming from my browser, and save it onto my computer for my access anytime I please. I've already ripped some of my favorite flashgames and videos......being a nerd has its privileges.

Sadly since Tia (It feels good to say her name again) and Mark have been playing Ragnarok, I haven't been able to talk to them as much. I've recently had to use my phone to communicate with her (Mark doesn't have text) which, thanks to her forgetfulness, works only half of the time. Eh, I guess I'll just wait a few weeks when the "newness" of the game wears off. I would play myself, but Dial-up has a way of fracking up any attempt at me trying to unleash my Internet nerdom.

Well I must be getting my supper.

-This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the Napsta

Livnig on hope for just a bit longer

Well I'm feeling much better today, thanks totally to a conversation I had after school today.

Well today was an ok day. Not much happened.

NEWS FLASH: I can actually listen to Sweeney Todd music, I had previously banished it from my mind because of a certain memory it brings up......

Well TAKS tomorrow, well, not for us but for 10th graders. I have B211 as my room......which is Mrs. Donahue's........oh boy.......Don't get me wrong she's the best English teacher I've ever had, it's just that she has this rightly deserved ego lol. But I'm sure I'll get through just fine, I mean I'm still alive aren't I?

Well I have to cut this one short. Have to be heading to bed soon....*sigh*...stupid parents and their "bed time"....

-This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the Napsta

Independence day

Decided to post this, I'm just in a depressed mood, enjoy!

Independence day
It's getting complicated
I'm finding it difficult to go
Can't stop the walls from caving in on me
And I'm still finding out

Only if you understood
You would see you'd know by now
Things aren't quite so good
Why can't you understand me

Only if I could find it
Seems miles away
Only if I could have it
My independence day

It's funny how we always end
A stalemate on and on and on
Can't put the past behind me
You're still talking nonsensical

Only if we understood
Each other you'd know by now
Oh how I wish you could
Why can't you understand it

Only if I could find it
Seems miles away
Only if I could have it
My independence day

Coments upon life and Star Trek

Well I'll start out with my experiences yesterday that led up to the moment of Star Trek!

Everything went alright I guess. In band we played music from Shrek and Cars (Fracking Kevin!) ugh. History is going pretty easy since Johnson really has nothing to teach about and goes of on rants about the government (which can get very redundant, which is when a trusty book comes in handy). Math isn't a challenge now that we've reached conics. Went over to Andrew during lunch and played Brawl with him and some other friends. Spanish is going to be a bugger, but not at this moment in time, so I'm fine with that. English is, once again, kicking it into overdrive (which reminds me, I have a project I need to finish). Theater is still easy and just crazy, I'm glad that I no longer have to act in the class plays (I was drafted into one, I was suppose to do tech). Physics.....well....with Ms.Kats I haven't learned a thing, but frack my grade is better than with Mr. Mary, even though I learned things with him.
We had an ITS meeting after school as well, we voted for positions and such for next year. We don't have a variety show which is quite sad....I had about 5 skits I was going to do with other people (including the Shakespeare version of "Who's on first").
I've also noticed some strange behavior in some people around me whenever they talk or hang out around other certain people.....hhmmmmm.....I'll update when I'm certain of my theories...

After school I went over to my grandparents for my grandmothers birthday. I walk through the door and my grandfather goes "Oh good you're here, come help me with these sacks" *sigh*. So after we unload 60 sacs of fed and fed the cattle, I head back in, sit down, realize I smell like *BEEP* and take a shower, eat, then begin my 40 minute drive to the highlight of my week.

STAR TREK

Joe got there before I did but David (and therefor Kevin) hadn't shown up yet. We talk for a bit before they arrive and once they do and we get out tickets, we are left with an hour till it starts. Well we decided to play some Time Crisis but sadly only one screen was operational on both machines so we played Tekken 5 instead (which Joe owns at). When we had 40 minutes left we got our drinks and snacks, got in the viewing room and watch what we call the prepreviews. To make a long story short, we now have 8 other movies we are seeing this summer lol. Then the moment came, it was time to watch the magic unfold!

The movie was fantastic. I won't ruin the story for y'all but I loved the characters (the guy who plays Angle in "Hot Fuzz" was Scotty) and the alternate timeline and it had a lot of comedic events within the movie. If it was a taste, it would be CRAZY DELICIOUS!!!!!

Well I better start on that project

-This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the Napsta

Koreom

I couldn't think of a title so I decided to use the name of one of my favorite songs......I'm a bit out of it today.

Well today I just feel.....agitated and bitter. Maybe it's because I really didn't want to go back to school today, maybe it's because "she's" always in my head, maybe it's because I just don't care about so many things any more, or maybe it's me stressing over my newest master plan.......
Yesterday sucked, I worked for about 6 hours doing the lawn AGAIN! I did that just last week! Ugh, I just wanted to lay around and break off contact from the world for a few hours, instead I got the smell of grass and the wizzing of cars flying along the road......

Well I finished with a few of the songs that I've been working on, I've got to say that I've surprised myself with their quality. Right now I'm listening to Koreom, an amazing song from the Advent Rising soundtrack. I actually used this song when I was writing some of the battle scenes in my book, EPIC!

Well I've gone through my book some more and have looked over the character interactions (some of which I need to fine-tune) and have also noticed some themes and motifs that I never intended to put in, but they are welcomed none the least. I've always noticed that some books and stories have hidden meanings and thoughts within the way the text is presented but I've started to wonder; is this always intentional or does it just sometimes happen?

Well I'll be heading off now, I have a few more things to do while I'm on the computer (my sister was on for 16 hours yesterday and still didn't finish the school project she was working on!)

-This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the Napsta

Stupidity of our School District

FRACKING A!!!!!!!! WE HAVE SCHOOL THURSDAY!!!!!!!
What is wrong with the district??????? Can't the at least keep their word to us? Are these two days going to make any difference? And if so, what? What could this possibly help us with? Chances are that the rest of the student body is going to be to pissed/out of it/ uncaring about school that the effectiveness of any work will be diluted to a quality that is unacceptable to the school. Why not give us these few days? It will keep us at ease and keep the students from thinking that they were "ripped off" and lied to......besides.....I really really really want these days off.

Well today was easier than the last 7 days. I slept in (thank god!) and I didn't have to do much work today, just pick up sticks around the house and such. Went over to Kevin S. place today and played some GoW2, CoD4&5 with him and David H. which was quite fun. I also went to go get my license renewed, and guess what? I have to get the form that proves I'm enrolled in the school system but sadly the school has been closed for the last 10 days....hhmmm.....irony strikes again!

Well I'm to enraged to rant about the school effectively, I'll leave that for tomorrow

-This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the Napsta

At least I had a Mountain Dew....

Well today was another (you guessed) work day! Yeah!

I woke up early.......had some breakfast, and was off to work. I built a flower bed (not really hard or challenging, just time consuming), weed eated (ugh) which I happen to hate with an intensity, after that I went with my father to pick up some electric and plumbing supplies, though I was able to get a Mountain Dew so that helped. When I came back, I helped out with the plumbing and electric work (a shock, I know (no pun intended)) and picked up all the limbs my father had cut down this morning.
After that though (about 5 in the afternoon) I was home free. I played a bit of KotOR II (almost done, I just have 2 more plot events till I beat it), worked on my book and songs that I am making (thank you technology), and am now watching scenes from one of my favorite games of all time; Advent Rising. It's an amazing game about humanity....well....I won't give it away. If you want to find out more, watch the amazing trailer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKQu4IZDG0I

Well I'll be heading off, I need to think about a rant for tomorrow....hmm.....

-This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the Napsta

Though on the 2nd & 3rd of May

Well yesterday (May 2nd) I worked, all day. As I had said in the post prior to this one I had some extra work that I needed to do for my grandfather. Well I drove out there, got the mower (I used it to pull the trailer that carried the fertilizer, got the back of the cattle trailer open, and broke up and shoveled the excrement onto the other trailer. I then drove it to one of the various garden plot, loosened the soil, mixed the fertilizer with the soil. Now repeat these steps about 8 more times and you have what I did from 10:00 A.M to 5:00 P.M.
The day got progressively better, though, towards the end of it. I was able to de-stress a bit by playing some KotOR II (thought it's hard to play even that with blisters all over your hands). I also watched some SNL and even though it was a re-run, I still found it humorous.

Today I woke up early (it keeps getting earlier and earlier, sadly enough) and had to help my parents clean out the smoke house (It's called such because whenever we get dear sausage, we use it to give it a smoked flavor). I swear I never knew we had so much junk/nonjunk that looked like junk. took us a few hours just to get everything out, another few hours to sweep and mop (stupid kittens poop everywhere) and we still haven't put everything back in it, though I have to admit I can actually see things in it now lol.
Well sadly Kings didn't come on tonight. I really like that show, it's based of one of my favorite stories of all time, the story of King David (before he became king, and it includes all of the stuff after Goliath, thank god). I've already put 19 hours into KotOR II, which either means it's really good or I'm really bored (but considering this is my 5th time playing it I'm going to go with the first). I love how every time you play it, it changes. There's so much to do in that game and not enough time. You always get a different experience when you play.

Well right now I'm playing Galactic Civs II and the Dregins are leading a coalition force against me, so I must cut my time short and defend my borders.

-This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the Napsta

On Water Pipes and Cow Manure......

Well Today just fracking sucked until the end.

I got to sleep in late today (which ironically was not the plan lol), took my morning shower, played some KotOR II (I beat the original two days ago), and then did some yard work, and head over to my grandparents place to do some yard work there.....oh boy.....

Well to make a long long story short I was on the last thing (mowing the lawn) and I was on the last few stretches when I mowed a bit to close to the house and BAM tore a water line up. My first reaction was "FRACKING @#$% #$%^&^# MOTHER #$^%&" but then I noticed that the water wasn't stopping (well the pipe was broken) so I called my grandfather and asked where to master water valve was. To make another long story short I found it and cut the water to the entire property, waited a few hours before I was able to fix it, and was covered with mud and dust. I swear if you were to punch me right now, a consuming cloud of grim and dirt would explode around me lol. It wasn't until 9 that we got done.......*sigh*......

Well because of my miss hap, I also have extra work to do at their place as well, like removing the manure from the trailer we use to transport cattle, and mixing it with the gardens around the house......oh what fun that will be.....

On a brighter note, NO SCHOOL NEXT WEEK! This has been one fracking great surprise, and because of it I can see Star Trek opening night with my friends! I've got David's and Joe's word that they are going to go with me.....all I need now is "her's" and Marks.

Well I've got to head off. I've got some Alien races I need to subjugate.

-This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the Napsta